Chapter 1: The Philosophy
The belief that toileting before 18 months is harmful comes from a reaction to harsh, controlling toilet training practices in the early 20th century. The problem was the pressure and punishment, not the age.
This reaction led to the idea of waiting for “readiness”, but modern disposable nappies reduce babies’ awareness of wetness, which delays their natural cues and shifts expectations for toilet learning later and later.
Many children cope with delayed toilet training, but others struggle — both physically and psychologically — with muscle control and letting go of the nappy. Research suggests bladder and bowel control develops through use, not waiting.
Studies show earlier potty learning supports healthier bladder function, while delayed training is linked to more problems later on — and UK health bodies now recommend introducing the potty well before traditional “readiness” milestones.
Lesson Summary
Additional Resources
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Some people make (unsupported) claims that toilet training prior to 18 months is harmful, causing psychological and physiological damage later down the line. These claims are often paired with the belief that babies have no control of their bladder and bowel muscles prior to this age.
But it’s important to understand where this thinking has come from. This damaging status quo is the aftermath from the early 20th century, when the growing influence of science and psychology reshaped parenting. Parenting manuals from child “experts” became popular, whilst instinctive and responsive care was seen as outdated and unscientific.
Parents were encouraged to follow rigid routines, including controlled, and quite frankly abusive, toileting regimens. To give you an idea, take a look in this US government-published manual, where they state that:
“Through training in regularity of feeding, sleeping, and elimination, the tiny baby will receive his first lessons in character building.”
“Almost any baby can be so trained that there are no more soiled diapers to wash after he is 6 to 8 months old. To begin the training the mother should notice at what time the baby soils his diaper. The next day at that hour she should hold him over the chamber, using a soap stick, if necessary, to start the movement, and continue this day after day, not varying the time by five minutes, until the baby is fixed in this habit.”
However, we need to separate the coercive methods from the age at which toileting began. It wasn’t early toileting that caused harm — it was force and pressure imposed on babies. It’s so important that we always respect our babies and never use punishment or pressure.
This period of time caused the pendulum to swing in the opposite direction, where paediatricians attempted to ‘correct’ these awful practices. And so, the concept of waiting for “child readiness” was born.
When it was first introduced, the influential pediatrician Dr Brazelton suggested that “readiness” occurred from 18 months. But, disposable nappies are getting increasingly better at wicking away the feeling of wetness, meaning we’re inadvertently suppressing their instincts and shifting the bar of when readiness occurs. Some now even suggest that kids should be 3–4 years old before starting. The nappy industry has propelled this idea into the mainstream as it meant they could sell a hell of a lot more nappies!
Of course, there are some children that do just fine with conventional toilet training. But lots don’t;
they struggle to control the muscles that can hold and release wee and poo, and
they find it difficult psychologically to let go of their nappy. Some children even request that a nappy be put on before they go to the toilet.
But, research suggests it’s a case of use it or lose it.
Studies have shown that control of the bladder and sphincter muscles are linked to the age at which potty learning occurs, not to an arbitrary age. If you don’t acknowledge or use the muscles associated with weeing and pooing, then conscious control is hard to achieve.
Another study found that starting potty training over the age of 2 was linked to more bladder-control problems later on vs starting between 15–24 months.
And other studies have found that regular potty use from infancy helps protect bladder health and strengthens these muscles.
As well as this, ERIC, the Children’s Bowel and Bladder Charity, and the Institute of Health Visiting, now advises parents to introduce the potty well before waiting for signs of ‘readiness’.
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United States Children’s Bureau, Infant care. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Government Printing Office, first published 1914 (rev. ed. 1929).
Brazelton, T. B. (1962). A child-oriented approach to toilet training. Pediatrics, 29, 121–128.
Duong, T.H., Jansson, U-B., Holmdahl, G., Sillén, U. & Hellström, A-L. (2013) ‘Urinary bladder control during the first 3 years of life in healthy children in Vietnam – a comparison study with Swedish children’, Journal of Pediatric Urology, 9(6 Pt A), pp. 700-706. doi:10.1016/j.jpurol.2013.04.022.
Joinson, C., et al. 2009. A prospective study of age at initiation of toilet training and subsequent daytime bladder control in school-age children. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, 30(5), pp.385–393.
Duong, T.H. et al.. 2010. Development of bladder control in the first year of life in children who are potty trained early. Journal of Pediatric Urology, 6(5), pp.501–505.
Benjasuwantep, B. and Ruangdaraganon, N., 2011. Infant toilet training in Thailand: starting and completion age and factors determining them. Journal of the Medical Association of Thailand, 94(12), pp.1441–1446.